CHOOSE YOUR ETERNITY TODAY!

(coming soon (really) from the Afterlife Assurance Insurance Corporation)

Design a personalized gift at Zazzle.
 

Any and all complaints, refunds, or favorable comments and realizations should be addressed to your concierge in the
afterlife, following your purchase and then subsequent death later in this life.

Resurrection Refunds: In order to collect this refund you must have been dead for at least three days, and be able to prove it with an
official state document. Also, you must give good reason as to why you were not satisfied with your afterlife. Please note that we
cannot be held responsible if the afterlife YOU chose is not the afterlife you wanted.

Pre-Existing Condition Note to those Reincarnating: Each purchase is only good for 1 chosen afterlife per incarnation.
You must purchase additional policies for each respective incarnation.

Atheist Considerations: You're dead and you know it. There is no afterlife! Perfect gift for your superstitious friends & relatives.
(A Ticket to Their personal eternal Paradise with schwag for this life)

Extra-Ordinary Condition Note to those Scientists Working on the Large Hadron Collider: Should you be responsible for tearing a
hole in the fabric of the universe or destroying it completely then all Guarantees for all are deemed null & void, thus
NO refunds will be given to anyone PERIOD!

For entertainment purposes only. Not to be taken very seriously.

IMPORTANT: Offers may vary in different parts of the Multi-Verse.

“Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.” Bill Hicks